"If it weren't for the penis, human life would have ended with Adam and Eve.
It seems strange that something so important is so funny-looking.
I'm an author and journalist. Sometimes I write about funny things.
Some of those funny things are penises."
--Michael N. Marcus

Friday, May 1, 2015

Creepy Hindu penis theology

If you saw "Around the World in 80 Days" you may remember the rescue of a widow from committing suicide on her husband's funeral pyre. That self-immolation is called sati, and has been illegal in India since 1829. British colonial rulers estimated 500–600 instances of sati per year

If you think that sati (and holy cows) are weird, check out Hindu weenie worship!

The Lingam is the symbol of the penis of the Hindu god Shiva. Within the trinity of Hinduism, Shiva is the god of destruction and change.

In Hindu mythology, when Shiva is killed, the goddess Kali squats over his body, rips out and eats his organs, and then mounts his still erect weener to complete the cycle of creation. In most Hindu art and temples, Shiva's holy dick is usually depicted without the rest of him, and is worshiped all by itself.

Out of a billion or so Hindus in the world, about 100 million belong to various sects that focus on Shiva, Kali and the giant Lingam.

Worshiping the linga is pretty straightforward. First, you have to make it wet, either by pouring water or milk over it. Then just say your prayers and meditate. Smaller, pocket-sized lingas should be held in the hand and rubbed while meditating, and you're well on your way to a religious experience.


In the interest of fairness, I'll point out that according to Wikipedia, although this interpretation is disputed by others, including Christopher Isherwood, Vivekananda, Swami Sivananda, and S.N. Balagangadhara the lingam is not a phallic symbol.

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