Calm water makes your penis longer (if you're a barnacle)

Barnacles spend their lives glued to rocks, which makes mingling with other barnacles rather difficult. That’s one reason they have penises that are up to 40 times their size –- the biggest penises in the animal kingdom.

The hermaphroditic animals regrow their penises each year, just before their brief mating season.

A study found that water conditions change the shape and size of barnacle dicks.

• In calm water, barnacles grow long and flexible penises.
• Choppy conditions lead to stockier, muscle-bound weenies.

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