"If it weren't for the penis, human life would have ended with Adam and Eve.
It seems strange that something so important is so funny-looking.
I'm an author and journalist. Sometimes I write about funny things.
Some of those funny things are penises."
--Michael N. Marcus

Thursday, April 30, 2015

Man born without penis will get one, from his arm

Andrew Wardle, 40, from the Manchester area in England, was born with a rare birth defect -- no penis! He even kept the truth hidden from his long-term girlfriend.
But, he told producers of TLC’s ‘The Man with No Penis’, to air in June, that hasn’t curbed his success with the opposite sex. On the contrary, he claims he has slept with over 100 women.

Filmed over twelve months, viewers will discover how Andrew’s rare birth condition left him with testicles, but no penis, and how he he kept it a secret from his lovers. The show also shows Andrew confessing his life-long secret to friends and family -- and even to his unsuspecting long-term girlfriend.

The program reveals his mission to have life-changing surgery that could give him a fully-functioning weenie built from skin, blood vessels and nerves from his arm.
About the women in his life, he told producers: “I’ve told 20 per cent of them the truth.”
But he also reveals how one woman punched him in the face when she learned the astonishing truth.

“I guess she was angry as she felt like I had lied but it’s not something you can say right away.”

Now, after 40 years of secrecy, Andrew’s decided to reveal the truth, admitting: “I was sick of hiding.” And, if the operation is successful, he’ll have a fully functioning penis for the first time in his life.


Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Do Not Inject Vaseline Into Your Penis. It will impair operation and void warranty.

We previously told you the sad tale of a German guy who had his schlong stuffed with silicone -- and now he has trouble using his monstrous member.

The latest unfortunate victim of experimental penile enhancement is a 24-year-old Hungarian who tried to enlarge his sausage by injecting it with Vaseline petroleum jelly.

As a result of the DIY job gone wrong, Szilveszter is now unable to have sex with his wife. He decided to play doctor based on the advice of a close friend, who said it had worked well for him.

Szilveszter said, “I had to stop having sex with my wife as it’s too painful. I would like to have more children but if I can’t have sex I may lose my family. Every day is difficult for me as it’s very painful and bleeding. This was the worst mistake in my life as I don’t feel like a real man. I said to my friend I want to lose weight as I think my penis is small. He said you don’t need to lose weight, I can help you. My friend injected in my penis Vaseline. Afterwards I was happy as it looked bigger.”

When the man went to visit his local doctor to tell him what he had done, the family practitioner said there was nothing he could do. Thankfully, cosmetic surgeon Dr. Vik Vijh agreed to help Szilveszter, explaining though that it would not be a simple procedure. “It’s not a pretty slight, it’s inflamed, it’s sore, it’s misshapen, his penis is a disaster,” said Vijh.

The doctor added, “I have been doing plastic surgery now for 20 years and I have never seen anything like this. Injecting petroleum jelly into the penis makes no sense on any level.”


Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Dead penis head removed

A New Jersey man had the head of his penis removed after suffering a rare type of blood poisoning that caused the skin to turn black and die.

The 54-year-old man was admitted to a hospital where doctors found he had gangrenous lesions on his legs, buttocks, thighs and weenie.

The lesions -- which were black and covered in shrivelled, dying skin -- hurt so much he needed strong medication to control the pain, according to doctors describing his case in the journal BMJ Case Reports.

Dr. Edmond Sarkis, who treated the man at Cooper Medical Centre, explained the man had necrosis -- where the skin prematurely dies and withers away. He said, "We took a look at his lesions as they were nasty; they were purple to black. They were all over his thighs, his lower back and even his penis was dying, which is rare. I had never seen anything this extensive before."


Image from http://www.pestfreegogreen.com. Thanks.

Monday, April 27, 2015

Can a carved wooden penis protect a boy from evil spirits?

The ancient Thai people believed in ghosts and spirits (and some modern Thais do today). The bad spirits were ready to take away sons before they became men. With little medical knowledge back then, boys and girls often died young due to incurable illnesses. Upon reaching adulthood, they would acquire some immunities to protect them from illnesses.

To fool the spirits, a wood carving in the shape of an adult circumcised penis was tied to the waste of a male child, letting it dangle in front of the boy's uncircumcised penis.

The spirits and ghost would then believe that the boy is actually a man, and not take his life away. Over time, men took to wearing the carvings around their neck as charms, to protect them against the spirits as well as bad luck.


Friday, April 24, 2015

Brazilian penis snake is neither a penis nor a snake and may not have a penis

A creature discovered by engineers building a dam in the Amazon is a limbless amphibian that resembles a purplish human weenie.

The animal
is a type of caecilian and was discovered while draining a portion of the Madeira River — a major tributary of the Amazon — for a controversial hydroelectric project. Six creatures were found according to biologist Julian Tupan, who identified the species as Atretochoana eiselti.

Little else is known about the species, although it is thought to be aquatic and lacks lungs, breathing through its skin instead. Others  have been found near the mouth of the Amazon, more than 1,500 miles away. Caecilians are typically predators, feeding on small fish, worms, and other aquatic invertebrates. They have poor eyesight and navigate primarily though smell.

Atretochoana eiselti is the largest known caecilian, attaining a length of 32 inches, or more than twice the size of the next-largest known species, and much longer than most human penises. 

Photo by Matt Roper. Thanks.

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Smallest Penis Contest moves to bigger venue in Brooklyn

Uninhibited and under-endowed men who take pride in their teeny weenies will once again have a chance to show their stuff and compete for big bucks in Brooklyn this summer.

After two years the pageant for little dicks has outgrown the previous little venue, and will be held at the Kings County Saloon on Saturday, June 13th. Tickets cost just $5 for watching. I'm not sure if there is an entry fee. Top prize has been raised from $200 to $500
If you want to show off the effect of your father's crappy genes, send email to spb.brooklyn [AT] gmail.com and let them know you want to compete.
There’s no word if previous winners Nick “The Delivery Man” Gilronan or Rajeev “Rajkumar” Gupta will be in attendance. On the other hand, 2013′s runner up “Dick van Winkle” will be competing.


Photo by Mary Dorn. Thanks.

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Boyfriend insisted on having sex in the dark because he was really girlfriend using strap-on dildo

Ncube Nobukhosi’s live-in lover Skhalazo Ndhlovu insisted on having sex in the dark throughout their relationship.

One day, Nobukhosi had the shock of her life when she found her lover’s penis in the bed.

“At night when we had sex I couldn’t see anything,” said Nobukhosi. But nine months into their relationship, Nobukhosi went to make the bed one morning and found the big plastic penis (a strap-on dildo) between the sheets. “I found out my boyfriend was a woman like me,” Nobukhosi said.

Nobukhosi said that the pain she experienced during intercourse was unbearable. “The penis was too big and too strong. It was not like the penis of a human being,” she said.

When asked for comment, Skhalazo said: “My girlfriend knew I’m a woman.”


Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Big Apple may decriminalize public peeing

In her first State of the City speech, New York's City Council Speaker Melissa Mark-Viverito pushed for the cops to make fewer arrests of New Yorkers for minor offenses, including fare-beating and public urination.

“Far too many of our young people mostly low-income black and Latino males are locked up at Rikers,” she said in the speech. “These are people who are accused of minor offenses and are still considered innocent in the eyes of the law. This is not justice.”

“We cannot continue to lock up those accused of low level, non-violent offenses without recognizing the dire, long-term consequences to them and to our city,” she said.

Mayoral spokeswoman Monica Klein said Mayor de Blasio supports summons reform, but declined to comment on whether he supports the specific proposal.

“The mayor has made a clear commitment to reforming the summons process, and the speaker’s proposal is under review in consultation with NYPD,” Klein said.

A Daily News analysis shows the seven offenses that would be sent to one of the city’s administrative civil courts under the Mark-Viverito plan account for roughly 2.7 million, or 42%, of the summonses issued by the NYPD between 2001 and June 2014. They also account for more than 510,000 open arrest warrants, according to the analysis of data provided by the state Office of Court Administration.

The measures, still the focus of ongoing negotiations, could pit some Council members against Police Commissioner Bill Bratton, who raised questions about the potential changes just last month.

Violators would get a ticket to one of the city’s administrative courts, such as the Environmental Control Board, instead of criminal court. Cops could no longer make arrests for those offenses, and missed court dates would turn into default monetary judgments instead of warrants.

Bratton appears cool to the idea, saying people wouldn’t take a civil ticket seriously.
“I’m not supportive of the idea of civil summonses for these offenses because I think that they’d be basically totally ignored, that they don’t have any bite to them, if you will.”


Monday, April 20, 2015

Death by sex. First Nelson Rockefeller, now a Nigerian bus driver

(from Wikipedia) Nelson Aldrich Rockefeller (1908 – 1979) was an American businessman, philanthropist, public servant, and politician. He served as the 41st Vice President of the United States (1974–1977) under President Gerald Ford, and as the 49th Governor of New York (1959–1973). He also served in the administrations of Presidents Franklin Roosevelt regarding Latin America and Dwight Eisenhower regarding welfare programs. A member of the wealthy Rockefeller family, he was also a noted art collector, as well as administrator of Rockefeller Center. Rockefeller, a Republican, was politically liberal, progressive, or moderate. In his time, liberals in the Republican Party were called "Rockefeller Republicans".

Rockefeller died on January 26, 1979, at age 70 from a heart attack.

He apparently died while banging a young mistress, Megan Marshak. Long-time Rockefeller aide Joe Persico said in the PBS documentary about the Rockefeller family "It became known that he had been alone with a young woman who worked for him, in undeniably intimate circumstances, and in the course of that evening had died from a heart attack."

According to Reformation.org, "The official coroner’s report, issued by the competent New York State authority, states that Nelson Rockefeller died of a heart attack while he was having sexual intercourse. You can look it up in the archives at 28th Street and First Avenue (provided they let you look at this one).

The tragedy, which was recounted daily in the press at the time, was that had there not been political considerations, his life might have been saved.

Nelson Rockefeller was a big, heavy man. When he collapsed of a heart attack, Megan Marshak was pinned underneath him. She had to struggle to get out. He was naked. It was not known that he had a mistress. For these reasons, she was reluctant to call the ambulance. Instead, Megan Marshak called her girlfriend, who lived nearby.

The girlfriend walked over, arrived, saw the naked former Vice-President sprawled on the floor, and then she and Megan Marshak had a discussion about what to do about this.

Finally, fully one hour after Nelson Rockefeller had collapsed, the girlfriend called the ambulance. Megan Marshak did not make the call.

When the ambulance arrived, Nelson Rockefeller was still barely alive. However, he died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital.

These circumstances caused an investigation. Megan Marshak, whose existence was totally unknown prior to this incident, holed up in her town house, a gift she received from Nelson Rockefeller, while photographers maintained a vigil outside. She did not appear for weeks.

When the will was read, Nelson Rockefeller left Megan Marshak the deed to the townhouse at 13 West 54th Street plus $50,000 cash, a generous gift for a previously unknown mistress.

The newspapers of that time were more careful with their wording than they are today. Every New Yorker following the story knew exactly that Megan Marshak was his mistress and that he had died while having sexual intercourse with her. Yet, the newspapers never used those exact words.

What I thought was the greatest irony about this was that the Rockefeller family was so anxious to cover up this story that they had his body cremated almost before it got cold. Nelson Rockefeller’s body was cremated only 18 hours after he was pronounced dead, because Happy Rockefeller, his proper wife, did not want the Medical Examiner’s Office to examine his body for evidence for sexual ejaculation.
Here was one of the most powerful and famous men in the world, a multi-millionaire, a grandson of John D. Rockefeller and a former Vice-President of the United States and Governor of New York State, a man who had everything, and only 18 hours later he was ashes, because of the need to keep secret the fact that he had been having sex with a woman who was not his wife. 

What happened to Nelson Rockefeller was not unusual or surprising. Medical studies say that one of the most common causes of death of men his age is a heart attack while having sexual intercourse with a woman not his wife (the reason being that when a man has sex with his own wife, he is used to her and is less likely to be under stress or excited or aroused).

Earlier this month a much-less-wealthy man died in Nigeria from the same cause, but with his wife. The incident occurred in their home at Ikota, Lagos State.

Simply identified as Emmanuel, The Eagle Online reports that the deceased suddenly slumped and died during the ‘action.’

It was learned that when his wife Afion, a mother of two,  noticed that her husband was no longer moving, she had called his name several times and shook him. Still, Emmanuel did not respond.

Scared and confused, Afion was said to have called the husband’s younger brother, Akpan and broke the news to him.

A neighbor, Okechukwu, said that the woman told her husband to rest because he was just recovering from an illness but he would not listen.

She said the man insisted he wanted sexual intercourse or he would seek it elsewhere.

SOURCE of Nigerian news

Friday, April 17, 2015

$26,000 drug treatment can straighten a curved penis

The first drug to treat Peyronie’s disease—an embarrassing and sometimes painful curvature of the penis—won approval  from the Food and Drug Administration.

It estimates as many as 9 percent of men have the condition, which can make intercourse painful or impossible. “It’s a soul-destroying disease,” said Stan Hardin, a plumber who started the Association of Peyronie’s Disease Advocates after developing the condition. He said the approval offered hope to men, many of whom might now seek treatment. Named after the French physician who first described it in 1741, the condition is caused by the buildup of plaque under the skin of the penis.

The drug, Xiaflex, is made by Auxilium Pharmaceuticals. It's an enzyme, derived from a gangrene-causing bacterium, that breaks down collagen, the main component of the plaque.

Treatment with Xiaflex consists of a series of eight injections in the penis, spaced six weeks apart. Pain, swelling and bruising can develop in the injection area.
Xiaflex costs $3,300 an injection, so a full course of eight injections would cost about $26,000, in addition to a doctor’s fee. OUCH!


Photo from http://ladychowchow.com. Thanks.

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Good News: King Tut's penis was not stolen!

A few years ago the penis media went absolutely bananas over a report in Time magazine that the weenie from King Tut 's mummy was missing. The writer suggested that someone had removed the royal pecker because of its small size, not wanting to embarrass the Tutankhamen family.

An investigator writing in the New Scientist said: "
A week or so ago I wrote a light-hearted blog post for New Scientist, looking into a theory that King Tutankhamen might have had a hormonal disorder that among other things causes underdeveloped genitalia.

Researchers analysing Tut's mummy had just ruled out the idea, citing the fact that Tut's penis is 'well-developed.' Intriguingly, however, their paper said that the penis is no longer attached to the rest of the mummy. On a whim I decided to double check that the organ is definitely Tut's and couldn't have been swapped by ancient embalmers to cover up his condition. Unlikely, perhaps, but surely a question that was begging to be asked.

Egyptologist John Taylor confirmed that the penis is indeed Tut's, as it was attached to the body when the mummy was first unwrapped. It must have broken off in modern times, probably during an early autopsy. So far so interesting - but it was clear that nothing untoward had occurred.

 . . .  (The wayward penis was reported missing in 1968, before it was discovered again during a CT scan in 2006, lying in the loose sand around the mummy's body.) The chest cavity was also damaged in modern times, probably by Howard Carter's team in 1922."


Wednesday, April 15, 2015

13 'sorcerers' arrested for trying to steal or shrink penises

In 2008, police in Congo arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises. There was a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.

Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, where belief in traditional religions and witchcraft remains widespread, and where ritual killings to obtain blood or body parts still occur.

Rumors of penis theft began circulating in Kinshasa, Congo's capital. The topic dominated radio call-in shows, with listeners advised to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings.

Purported victims, 14 of whom were also detained by police, claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their weenies shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure.

Police arrested the accused sorcerers and their victims in an effort to avoid the sort of bloodshed seen in Ghana a decade earlier, when 12 suspected penis snatchers were beaten to death by angry mobs. The 27 men have since been released.

"I'm tempted to say it's one huge joke," Oleko said. "But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it's become tiny or that they've become impotent. To that I tell them, 'How do you know if you haven't gone home and tried it'," he said.

Some Kinshasa residents accuse a separatist sect from nearby Bas-Congo province of being behind the witchcraft in revenge for a recent government crackdown on its members.
"It's real. Just yesterday here, there was a man who was a victim. We saw. What was left was tiny," said 29-year-old Alain Kalala.


Illustration from heatherwheeler.wordpress.com. Thanks.

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Good News: a misplaced peepee hole can be relocated

Hypospadias refers to a birth defect in which the urinary opening is not at the correct location on the head of the penis. It is the second most common birth abnormality in boys, affecting approximately 1 of every 300.

In approximately 90% of cases the opening (“meatus”) is on or near the head of the penis (“glans”), referred to as distal hypospadias, while the remainder have proximal hypospadias with a meatus near or within the scrotum.

In most cases the foreskin is also underdeveloped and does not wrap completely around the penis, leaving the underside of the glans penis uncovered. There may also be downward bending of the penis, commonly referred to as “chordee.” This is found in 10% of distal hypospadias and 50% of proximal hypospadias at the time of surgery. The scrotum may be higher than usual to either side of the penis, called penoscrotal transposition, adding to the abnormal overall appearance.

Hypospadias is thought to result from failure of the urinary channel to completely tubularize to the end of the penis. The cause of hypospadias is not known. Most often, it is the only abnormal finding, although in about 10% of cases hypospadias may be part of a syndrome with multiple abnormalities.

SOURCE (Wikipedia)

Monday, April 13, 2015

Man with silicone-filled 8-lb penis has trouble getting laid

A German man had his penis injected with silicone and it's now 9 inches long, 3.5 inches in diameter and weighs too much for his kitchen scale, which goes up to 6.6 lbs. He figures it weighs between 7.5 and 9.5 lbs.

Micha Stunz, 45, who lives in Berlin, had his penis permanently enlarged to make him feel better. We don't know its original size and weight.

However, the silicone implants provide no physical pleasure and actually make sex much more difficult for him-- although it is not impossible.

He cannot get a normal erection, and any increase in size is not visible due to all the silicone. Although his giant penis restricts his sex life, he says it makes him more creative in the bedroom.

He told Vice journalist Frederik Busch: "After you reach a certain size, you can't do certain things any more."


Friday, April 10, 2015

Schizophrenic sperm leads to lawsuit

An American sperm bank admitted that it did not verify the personal information of a donor used by a Canadian couple now suing the company, alleging they were never told the man was a schizophrenic with a criminal record.

The president of Xytex Corp. said a careful review of its records had determined the Canadian couple’s claims “do not reflect” the information the donor provided to the company.

“We stand by the process we followed, and intend to vigorously defend ourselves against the allegations in this lawsuit,” Kevin M. O’Brien said.

Ontario residents Angela Collins and Margaret Elizabeth Hanson allege that Xytex told them their choice of donor was a healthy man with multiple degrees who was “among their best donors.”

The couple alleges they only accidentally learned the identity of their donor years after their son was born, and through their own research realized the man was a college dropout who had been arrested for burglary and had schizophrenia.

The couple is now seeking damages for pain, suffering and financial losses as it alleges Xytex engaged in fraud, misrepresentation, negligence and battery, among other claims.

Xytex stated it has done nothing wrong. Information was passed on to the couple, who were “clearly informed” that the details were reported by the donor and “were not verified by Xytex,” O’Brien noted.


Thursday, April 9, 2015

Which sex positions do the most penis damage?

The revolution in the bedroom might have emancipated women from the drudgery of the Missionary Position, but men may pay a painful price.

"Woman on top" is the most dangerous sex position, according to a new scientific study.
Scientists have found that the position, dubbed "cowgirl", is responsible for half of all penile fractures in the bedroom.

The research also revealed that the "doggy-style" position, with women on all fours, is behind 29 per cent of afflictions. In contrast, the traditional "man on top" is responsible for just 21 per cent.

Illustration is from the Kama Sutra.

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

New favored fruit: eggplant replaces banana as phallic symbol

Bye-bye, banana. The eggplant has risen to become America’s dominant phallic fruit.
It wasn’t too long ago that comparing a penis to an eggplant inspired associations with horrific, intimate trauma. But now the eggplant readily connotes a healthy package.

When nude photographs of Chris Brown leaked online in January, gossip site Media TakeOut tagged them “EGGPLANT PICS.” When a Chinese panda named Lu Lu broke the record for longest panda sex session an observer on Twitter described the feat as “giving panda eggplant.” The Instagram account @eggplant has posted just one innocent photo of the fruit, and amassed 1,500 tittering comments from browsers in the know. (“Big as mine,” one male commenter weighed in.) When Billboard asked Diplo to name his favorite emoji in February, he replied: “The eggplant one. It’s code for stuff.”
The actual squat, pear-shaped fruit found in the typical American produce aisle does not scream “stuff.” But the eggplant emoji that pops up on iPhone keyboards—it’s nestled between a roasted sweet potato and a tomato—is an elongated, almost muscular specimen. Perhaps the Japanese origins of emoji can help explain the shape shift: Willem Van Lancker, a designer who created the bulk of emoji characters that appear on Apple devices, says that the tiny graphics were originally crafted exclusively for Japanese iPhones before they spread around the world. And as Time magazine informed American eaters in 2013, Japanese eggplant are “typically longer, thinner and a bit more corkscrew-shaped than the eggplant you may be used to.” The Japanese eggplant is “noticeably less plump.” It’s undeniably more phallic.
It’s not clear when the eggplant emoji first launched into our collective sexual imagination. The Unicode Consortium, which sets global standards for characters so that they can work across various operating systems, incorporated emoji into its Unicode Standard in 2010; Apple began outfitting American iPhone software with easily-accessible emoji keyboards in 2011. (The phenomenon is iPhone-specific: There’s nothing phallic about the fat, lavender rendering of the eggplant emoji that appears on Android devices.) Andima Umoren, a digital media manager in Washington, D.C., says that she and her friends started using the eggplant emoji privately, in texts and GroupMe messages, not long after. “It just made sense,” Umoren told me. “It’s the right shape.” Once linguistic influencers started passing it around—“You see it a lot on black Twitter, and among teenagers,” Umoren says—the think pieces weren’t far behind. Fred Benenson, editor of the Herman Melville emoji translation Emoji Dick, recommended the eggplant for “sexual innuendo” purposes in January 2013. That summer, Complex included the eggplant in its slideshow of “Emojis to Send While Sexting.”
Then, in March of last year, video artist Jesse Hill restaged BeyoncĂ©’s “Drunk in Love” in emoji form, and made hot and heavy use of the eggplant. “It just seemed the best thing to represent Jay Z’s penis,” Hill told me. The video ended up being “huge in spreading the usage of the eggplant,” he says.


Tuesday, April 7, 2015

"Hey, Snake Dick!" "Yo, Baby Weenie." Study shows many boys taunted about penises

Urologists who conducted a new study say parents who bring their young sons to be circumcised - or to get rid of some leftover foreskin after a circumcision - often say they're worried that their child may be teased later in life because of the appearance of his penis.

“We were looking to find out if the parents’ concerns about teasing in the locker room were valid,” said Dr. Chris Cooper, the study’s senior author from the University of Iowa.
As reported this month in The Journal of Urology, the researchers surveyed 290 undergraduate men at the University of Iowa about their high school gym classes and sports and any teasing they witnessed or experienced in the locker rooms.

Overall, 47 percent had seen others being teased about their penises - usually on a weekly basis.
Penis size was the reason for 83 percent of the taunts, the researchers found. A third of taunts focused on not being circumcised or having a “strange” looking penis. Being uncircumcised did not increase a student’s overall odds of being teased.

Monday, April 6, 2015

Man creamed into co-worker's coffee

A 34-year-old Minnesota man pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor charge accusing him of ejaculating on a co-worker’s desk and in her coffee.

More serious charges were dropped for Robert John Lind back in November 2014, when the Ramsey County courts found that there was not enough evidence to provide probable cause that his actions constituted felony criminal sexual conduct.
An employee at Beisswenger’s hardware store in New Brighton called police on Aug. 26, 2014, saying she thought Lind, her co-worker, was leaving bodily fluids on her desk. She told police that she had found Lind standing at her desk with his back turned toward her. Lind allegedly had both of his hands in front of him near his genitals. According to the original complaint, when Lind noticed the woman he looked at her with a “deer in headlights” expression and quickly went into another room.
The woman told police she inspected her desk and noticed a strong odor that resembled urine, but was a bit different and strange. She said her coffee smelled the same way and noted that she had had an ongoing issue with a experiencing a foul taste in her coffee.
On Aug. 28, 2014, Lind met with police, said he was attracted to her and admitted to ejaculating on her desk and into her coffee on Aug. 26. He denied ejaculating into her coffee out of revenge because she had threatened to report his behavior. 


Friday, April 3, 2015

Lab-grown penises ready for human testing

Scientists at the Wake Forest Institute for Regenerative Medicine could be offering new hope to men with genital abnormalities or injuries in as little as five years, thanks to lab-grown penises.

Back in 1999 they became the first in the world to successfully implant a lab-grown organ into humans—a bladder. Since then, they’ve transplanted engineered vaginas into women born with defects or without vaginas entirely, and have started working on growing tissues and organs for more than 30 different areas of the body.

Team leader Anthony Atala began this genital journey back in 1992, but it was not until 2008 that the scientists proved transplanting engineered penises was theoretically possible. Having spent a considerable amount of time working out the best way to engineer these tricky organs, the team managed to grow 12 functioning penises for rabbit subjects. After grafting them on to the recipients, all tried to mate with a female, eight successfully ejaculated, and four produced offspring. While these results were certainly encouraging, gaining approval for human trials is another kettle of fish. However, Atala is confident that it could be granted by the FDA within five years if they can prove the technique is safe.

So how do they do it? They first obtain a donor penis and strip all the cells from it with a detergent. The researchers are then left with a collagen scaffold which they then seed with a combination of cultivated smooth muscle and endothelial cells from the recipient. Using the patient’s own cells eliminates the risk of immunological rejection that often occurs when transplants are given from another individual. However, because the cells are taken from the male’s genitals, it means that the procedure could not be used for female-to-male sex reassignment surgery.

The team has already engineered six human penises that are ready for transplantation; if approval for trials is granted and they prove to be a success, the researchers hope that they could be used all over the world to help people with a variety of problems. In particular, they envisage them being used in men who have suffered from traumatic injuries, for example those returning from the battlefield. However, they could also be used in individuals with congenital abnormalities, or children born with a disorder known as ambiguous genitalia. In the majority of instances, boys born with this condition are given a sex-change at birth, which can lead to serious psychological problems throughout life.

Thursday, April 2, 2015

Bill Gates is spending major money to improve penis covers

I have neither bought, used nor thought about scum bags, er... prophylactics in more than 40 years. I have vague and both humorous and unpleasant memories of them.

The funniest memory (which did not involve me) was an initiation stunt for pledges at a fraternity at Lehigh University. The kids had to go to pharmacies, select female clerks, and purchase condoms in pantomime, as if they were mute. I don't know if any of the pledges got lucky.

Today, the weenie wrappers are openly displayed in drug stores. Back then they were kept "under the counter" and also sold from vending machines in the men's rooms of bars and gas stations
"for prevention of disease." Farther back in human history, animal intestines, linen, and even leather was used for "rubbers." CLICK for more history.

My first awareness of male contraception goes back to high school, where I heard tales of sexually active classmates wrapping their dicks in Saran Wrap or (GASP!) aluminum foil. In the 60s the Fugs sang about using Saran Wrap.

At my first gym class in college, we were instructed: "Gentlemen, if you're gonna take it out and you're get it wet, put a raincoat on it."

This elaborate introduction leads up to today's real penis news: Apparently lots of people hate traditional latex condoms and inventors are working on alternatives.

In November 2013, the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation began distributing $100,000 grants to teams of researchers who’d submitted proposals for “the Next Generation of Condom.” The Gates Foundation hopes that at least one of the grantees will develop a product that men in the developing world want to use, which will consequently have “substantial benefits for global health, both in terms of reducing the incidence of unplanned pregnancies and in prevention of infection with HIV or other STIs.”

For a paper called “ ‘And Isn’t That the Point?’: Pleasure and Contraceptive Decisions,” published in Contraception last year, Gallaudet University sociologist Julie Fennell interviewed 30 men and 30 women about their experiences with condoms. “The most enthusiastic endorsement that several people … offered was, ‘They don’t bother me,’ ” writes Fennell. “Both women and men mentioned disliking the smell, taste, feeling, inconvenience, and sense of wastefulness of condoms.”

I've tried some mildly adventurous sexy stuff, but have never been involved in condom tasting. But, different strokes for different folks.

Read more here, from Slate.