"If it weren't for the penis, human life would have ended with Adam and Eve.
It seems strange that something so important is so funny-looking.
I'm an author and journalist. Sometimes I write about funny things.
Some of those funny things are penises."
--Michael N. Marcus

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Do Not Inject Vaseline Into Your Penis. It will impair operation and void warranty.

We previously told you the sad tale of a German guy who had his schlong stuffed with silicone -- and now he has trouble using his monstrous member.

The latest unfortunate victim of experimental penile enhancement is a 24-year-old Hungarian who tried to enlarge his sausage by injecting it with Vaseline petroleum jelly.

As a result of the DIY job gone wrong, Szilveszter is now unable to have sex with his wife. He decided to play doctor based on the advice of a close friend, who said it had worked well for him.

Szilveszter said, “I had to stop having sex with my wife as it’s too painful. I would like to have more children but if I can’t have sex I may lose my family. Every day is difficult for me as it’s very painful and bleeding. This was the worst mistake in my life as I don’t feel like a real man. I said to my friend I want to lose weight as I think my penis is small. He said you don’t need to lose weight, I can help you. My friend injected in my penis Vaseline. Afterwards I was happy as it looked bigger.”

When the man went to visit his local doctor to tell him what he had done, the family practitioner said there was nothing he could do. Thankfully, cosmetic surgeon Dr. Vik Vijh agreed to help Szilveszter, explaining though that it would not be a simple procedure. “It’s not a pretty slight, it’s inflamed, it’s sore, it’s misshapen, his penis is a disaster,” said Vijh.

The doctor added, “I have been doing plastic surgery now for 20 years and I have never seen anything like this. Injecting petroleum jelly into the penis makes no sense on any level.”


No comments:

Post a Comment