"If it weren't for the penis, human life would have ended with Adam and Eve.
It seems strange that something so important is so funny-looking.
I'm an author and journalist. Sometimes I write about funny things.
Some of those funny things are penises."
--Michael N. Marcus

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Religious nut cut off his penis to get closer to God

A Nigerian man who is a member of the Redeemed Christian Church of God, who was abstaining from food and water for a period of 21 days, took his faith to the next level.
He claimed that his weenie was preventing him from getting closer to God due to little erections occurring on daily basis. He cut his dick off with a machete.

Neighbors who had witnessed the incident attacked him, thinking he wanted to use his manhood to perform a ritual.

He reportedly said: “The penis has a mind of its own and it is capable of doing things which are totally out of my control. It usually gets erect every now and then, and konji sets in. And you know that konji is one of the things that leads people into sin.
The erections were making me weaker spiritually and in the fast. That is why I cut it off. Even Jesus Christ said that we should cut off anything which will make us sin," he explained further.

 In the hospital he said he hoped hoping his penis will grow back on his body after the 21 days of fasting and prayers.

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