"If it weren't for the penis, human life would have ended with Adam and Eve.
It seems strange that something so important is so funny-looking.
I'm an author and journalist. Sometimes I write about funny things.
Some of those funny things are penises."
--Michael N. Marcus

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Genuine nightmare: man was awakened by girlfriend trying to bite his penis off

A night out drinking and an argument with his girlfriend nearly cost a Tulsa man his penis.

Amber Ellis was arrested for maiming and assault with a dangerous weapon.

According to the police report, the victim said he and his girlfriend were out drinking and began arguing while walking home "about how needy she had become."  The couple argued in the apartment until the victim told police Ellis stormed off, slamming the bedroom door.

Police say the victim fell asleep on the couch only to wake up to find Ellis trying to bite his weenie off.

The victim told police he fought Ellis off but she hit him in the head with a laptop computer.

The victim received several stitches to the base of his penis and was treated for injuries to his head, face, neck, fingers and knee.


When in college I frequently received an oral awakening from my girlfriend who had a key to my apartment, but no damage was inflicted. Read about it



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