"If it weren't for the penis, human life would have ended with Adam and Eve.
It seems strange that something so important is so funny-looking.
I'm an author and journalist. Sometimes I write about funny things.
Some of those funny things are penises."
--Michael N. Marcus

Monday, January 5, 2015

Man whacked-off while holding cucumber in other hand, at library

Fredrick Tennyson Davis, 49, was accused of committing "an indecent act" in a Toronto library while holding a cucumber in one hand and his own cucumber in the other.

Police say the act occurred at Agincourt Library on April 7, but Davis got away. However, on May 31, when Davis allegedly showed up again with another cucumber, someone at the library was quick to call the cops.

Sun News asked Constable David Hopkinson if Davis threatened anyone at the library, and Hopkinson replied, "I don't think he had any free hands to make any threat."

Davis is charged with one indecent act count and two counts of failure to comply with probation, according to City News Toronto.


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