Man shot his penis as cops busted him for outdoor peeing

 

A 26-year-old man caught by cops taking a leak on a Brooklyn street early Saturday tried to toss his gun away but accidentally blasted himself in the dick.

Paramedics took Javier Thomas to Kings County Hospital with a non-life-threatening — but embarrassing and painful — wound. He was arrested for weapons possession and reckless endangerment.

(Confession: Javier may have merely shot himself near his penis, not his actual penis, but the news is funnier this way, and fun is more important than reality for this blog.)

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Man had five-day hard-on from Viagra overdose

Makers of pills to fight erectile dysfunction warn users to seek medical attention if a weenie stays rigid for four hours -- but what about FIVE DAYS?

Daniel Medforth ended up in a hospital after chugging 35 Viagra tabs in an hour, giving him a five-day erection.

The 36-year-old Brit took the pills “for a laugh” after a two-day bender.
Instead of feeling sexy he said: “I ended up feeling sick, dizzy and hallucinating — everything I saw was green. And I had a massive erection that would not go away.”
When he got home dad-of-two Daniel confessed to his shocked wife, who phoned for  an ambulance.

He was kept in the hospital for 36 hours for observation. Daniel said: “The paramedics were very professional but you could see they were trying not to laugh. The doctors and nurses told me off.”

After he was discharged Daniel spent the next few days in bed.

He said: “It wasn’t a permanent erection but every time I brushed against something for five days it sprang into life — and it was no use to me. Fortunately my wife has forgiven me and I realize I have been very, very lucky.”

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Another 'responsible gun owner' shot his own penis

A man in Macon, Georgia accidentally shot himself in the penis while attempting to holster his gun last week.

The man was parked at a gas station and was attempting to put away the weapon when it discharged, striking him in the nether regions. He immediately drove to a friend’s house.

The victim dropped his pants to find that he had shot himself in the dick and that the bullet had exited his body through his ass. As he disrobed, the spent round fell to the floor.

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Photo from buy-gun-holsters.blogspot.com

Mexican man says his 19-inch penis makes life hard

Roberto Esquivel Cabrera, 52, of Saltillo says that women are afraid of the cause of his elephant walk and he cannot have a relationship.

He also said his penis, which is 19 inches long and has a 10-inch circumference, is too long for him to kneel at church, or to work. He is living on assistance but said he would be willing to act in porn movies.

Cabrera's size might be the largest in the world as his length far extends past current record holder Jonah Falcon, of Brooklyn, who has been measured at 13.5 inches.

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Japanese man cut off wife’s boyfriend's penis -- and flushed it

Japanese police arrested a man for bursting into a lawyer’s office, cutting off the lawyer's penis with garden shears and flushing the weenie down the toilet.

Ikki Kotsugai, a 24-year-old Tokyo graduate student, may have been acting out of revenge over his wife’s romantic involvement with the 42-year-old lawyer with whom she worked.

Kotsagu punched the unnamed lawyer several times before pulling off his pants and then severing his dick with the shears.

Kotsugai told police that he flushed the severed penis down the toilet.

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