"If it weren't for the penis, human life would have ended with Adam and Eve.
It seems strange that something so important is so funny-looking.
I'm an author and journalist. Sometimes I write about funny things.
Some of those funny things are penises."
--Michael N. Marcus

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Security guard accidentally shot his penis off


When police in Trinidad and Tobago were dispatched to investigate reports of a gunshot coming from the area of a parked car, they did not expect to find a security guard slumped over the wheel after having just shot his penis off.

But that's precisely what they found.

The man was rushed to a hospital.

Adding insult to the worst injury imaginable, the guard was expected to be charged with illegal possession of a firearm and ammunition.


SOURCE

photo fom Shutterstock  Thanks.

Monday, March 30, 2015

Bull's penis removed from sign. It looked like party hat.




Last week we told you about folks in Utah complaining about the anatomical details on a giant sign at a restaurant.

Well, the big dick has been removed. Not because of complaints. Because of esthetic considerations.

The owner said: "I saw that beautiful sculpture in Vegas and bought it and I was just thinking about it and, this morning, after it being up for a couple weeks – it has nothing to do with the city at all – I said ‘you know what, I’m gonna have that penis taken off so you can see more of the beautiful (bull). I love the joints and the plate work, you know, instead of that atrocious, well that party hat. It was so stupid because it looks like a party hat."

SOURCE

Friday, March 27, 2015

Man sued insurance company for dick damage


Rupert Collins sued Kaiser Foundation Health Plan in Napa County Superior Court because "Rupert's penis and urethra is permanently eroded away."

While a patient at Napa Valley Care Center Collins began to experience issues with the Foley catheter that had been inserted into his penis. A nurse faxed Kaiser requesting permission to "have a trial of no Foley" to rest the area, which was "red and swollen and cut."

The nurse's request was denied and "his penis began to erode further and further each day." Nine days later, another nurse again faxed Kaiser with an identical request; it was again denied.


Collins's daughter, "horrified" after seeing his penis "split completely in half from the tip of his penis all the way down to the scrotum sac," had a third nurse contact Kaiser. She was allegedly told the erosion was "normal" and would eventually heal. 


The daughter managed to get a Kaiser urologist to examine Collins. His prognosis: The erosion was "complete." Not only would no healing occur, but "reconstructive surgery was not a viable option." It adds the doctor said earlier treatment would have saved the organ. Collins is suing for elder abuse, negligence and unfair business practices and seeks damages and attorneys' fees.

SOURCE

Thursday, March 26, 2015

Man is suing hospital for cutting his penis off


A Romanian man who went to the hospital to have a kidney operation left without his penis.


Costica Maroleanu, 55, suffered from kidney failure and went to a hospital for surgery. When the surgery was over, the hospital informed him that, because the nurse had not properly fitted the catheter, his penis became red and infected.

He was moved to intensive care and later to nephrology, but was left unattended for 10 days when the doctor went on vacation.

Maroleanu was then transferred to another hospital, where doctors determined his infected penis must be removed, or he would risk death.

Maroleanu said he is “devastated” because he has to urinate like a woman and is now demanding  $539,000 compensation from the county hospital for malpractice.
 
The head of Romania’s Sexual Medicine Association questioned the likelihood of his winning the lawsuit. “I’m not sure he will win by saying he is devastated and has to go to the toilet like a woman,” professor Nicolae Calomfirescu told CEN. “If you cut the left hand of a violinist, he will be devastated. But should he be devastated by the loss of his penis? I would say the man needs to be evaluated by a psychologist.” 

SOURCE

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

What one woman would do if she had a penis


While at Manhattan's Museum of Sex, book publisher Judith Regan discussed using a penis as a weapon. 
Her Regan Arts published brothel owner Dennis Hof’s new book, The Art of the Pimp.  Aware of the venue for the book party, “Precious” producer Lisa Cortes playfully asked what Regan would do if she had a penis.
She replied, “I would use it as a wrap, sling it over my shoulder and around my neck, and I’d slap a few people with it.”

SOURCE

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Giant bull's giant penis upsets folks in Utah


A new sign at Barista’s Restaurant in Hurricane, Utah, featuring a bull’s extra-large weenie is sparking outrage within the community.
 
The sign, across the street from Hurricane High School, is prompting fierce backlash from angry residents who are calling the sign offensive and inappropriate, saying the depiction of the bull’s genitalia is blatantly overdone.
 
“It looks terrible,” Hurricane City resident Denise Mackelprang said. “I could see the bull, but not the details of the sex. It’s R-rated to me, especially with young school kids seeing it and talking about it.”
 
Several residents said they think the bull would look good if it were anatomically correct and the dimensions and proportions were appropriate throughout – more bull and less genitalia.
 
“The giant bull is awesome,” Hurricane City resident Angel Janell said. “The giant, weird testicles and penis are not even anatomically correct … that is my issue.”
 
Lindsay Knapp expressed her outrage about the sign on a community Facebook discussion about the sign: Holy cow!! Sure kids will see bulls on ranches, but not suspended from 25 feet in the air to make everything that much more visible and noticeable that otherwise wouldn’t really be seen! Don’t know about you, but my kids don’t lie down beneath bulls or any other animals to have that kind of vantage point that this particular piece of “art” gives when looking at it from below.
 
Restaurant owner Stephen Ward said the real issue Hurricane City residents are having is with him and not the sign. “If I put Pinocchio up there, its nose would be too big,” Ward said. “It’s me. It’s me. It’s not the bull. It’s not the restaurant. They don’t like me. But you know what, where does it say in the world, in the Constitution, that they can prevent me having the right to do legal commerce in the United States? That is my God-given right.”
 
Ward said he went through all the proper steps to have the sign approved by Hurricane City before having the sign installed.
 
Hurricane City Planning Director Toni Foran confirmed the sign was approved by the city before it went up. “We saw a depiction on a piece of paper probably about 3 inches tall that, you know, may not have had exactly the same proportions,” Foran said.
 
A petition was initiated urging the Hurricane City Council to refuse Barista’s Restaurant’s business license renewal.

SOURCE

Monday, March 23, 2015

It's hard to find a penis donor

In 2012 a man checked himself into a South African hospital under grim circumstances. He had recently undergone a ritual circumcision, but the procedure was a disaster. His penis had been too tightly wrapped, causing life-threatening gangrene to set in. To save his life, the young man had come to the hospital that day to have his penis amputated.

His story has a happy ending, however. The young man became the recipient of the world’s first successful penis transplant. He now appears to have made a complete recovery with a fully functional penis. 
No one knows how many penis amputations occur each year. Ritual male circumcision practiced by certain ethnic groups in South Africa acts as a rite of passage for young men. Traditionally, male teenagers attend circumcision schools where they are instructed in sex education and family values. At the end of that process, they are circumcised. 
Problems started in recent years as formerly close-knit communities began to degrade and old traditions fell away. The people who now perform the circumcisions often have little if any training. They charge exorbitant prices for the dangerous operation, which entails wrapping the penis at its base to stem the flow of blood before removing the foreskin. When the penis is wrapped too tightly, things go awry.
Sometimes, gangrenous penises fall off on their own. Each year, stories also hit the news of men who died from their infection after refusing to visit a Western hospital for fear of being ostracized. Some who do seek help are turned away by nurses who come from the same culture. Still others, unable to cope with the shame, commit suicide after losing their penis. Those who survive losing an infected penis oftentimes do not tell their relatives or even parents. Living with that secret means they must always be wary about using the bathroom or undressing in front of others, and it prevents them from pursuing romantic relationships. 
Dr. Andre Van der Merwe became interested in this problem in 2010 and built  a team of others who also believed that penis transplants were worth investigating. They began by working with cadavers in the lab, making sure they understood all the ins and outs of this new type of transplant. All of the tests and ethical reviews went well, and they soon gained approval to begin a clinical trial with humans.
That’s when they hit a major roadblock: They simply could not find a donor. “I think there’s a lot of emotional gravity that goes with the organ,” van der Merwe says. “The psychology stretches deeper than we care to admit in everyday life.”
In South Africa, even if a man signs himself up as an organ donor, his family must give final written approval of that request following his death. Time and again, families flat-out refused to consider giving up the penis of a deceased father, brother, husband or son. “I cannot even count how many no’s we got. It was very frustrating,” van der Merwe says. “People just don’t want their relatives going to the grave without a penis.”
Then, an idea struck. Van der Merwe offered to fashion a faux penis out of a donor’s skin instead—a way to preserve the deceased’s dignity while also allowing him to do one final good deed. “People all of a sudden were thinking about the request, rather than just bluntly saying ‘no,’” van der Merwe says. On the fourth or fifth try—a year and a half after they began the search for a donor—one family finally said yes to a full penis donation.

SOURCE
Photo from rcilinc.org. Thanx. 

A big thanks goes to Stewart Levine for this penis tip. 

Friday, March 20, 2015

First penis transplant reversed; wife didn't like it


Surgeons in China who said they performed the first successful penis transplant had to remove the donated organ because of the severe psychological problems experienced by the man and his wife.

In September 2005 surgeons led by Dr. Hu Weilie attached a penis donated by the parents of a 22-year-old brain-dead man. The operation was successful but Hu and his team removed the transplant two weeks later.

“There was a strong demand from both the patient and his wife” for a transplant, and the operation “was discussed again and again” and approved by the hospital’s ethics committee, Hu wrote in "European Urology." The patient had been unable to have intercourse or urinate properly since an accident that occurred eight months before the surgery.

Fourteen days after the penis transplant, the recipient and his wife requested that the organ be removed “because of the wife’s psychological rejection as well as the swollen shape of the transplanted penis.”

SOURCE


Eggplant photo from www.myveggietable.com. Thanks.

Thursday, March 19, 2015

New bride wanted annulment. Hubby's penis was too big.

Nigerian housewife Aisha Dannupawa asked a Sharia court to dissolve her one-week marriage to Ali Maizinari because she could not bear the size of his penis.

She told the court that “we had sex but the experience was a nightmare. Instead of enjoying the sex, it turned out to be something else because his penis was too big.” 

She also said, “I told my mother [about] the experience but she told me to endure and that with time, I will be able to cope. She then gave me some drugs.’’

The bride told the court: “two days later when he came to visit me, we had sex again, but the experience was too much to bear. It was then I knew that I could not continue with the marriage because of the size of his penis.’’

The husband told the court that he was willing to divorce her but that she should pay back the dowry and all that he spent on her during the courtship, about $300. The court president told the couple to try reconciliation.

SOURCE

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Man broke his penis when it poked the wrong lady part


According to the New England Journal of Medicine, a 42-year-old man fractured the outer tissue of his weenie known as the Tunica Albuginea when the man’s penis accidentally hit the woman’s perineum (the space between the vagina and the anus).

He had emergency surgery and regained complete penile function.

SOURCE


Photo from farcicalfootball.com. Thanks.

Monday, March 16, 2015

Docs in South Africa transplanted a dead guy's penis


It's unusual for Worldwide Penis News to get "scooped" by traditional media publishing a penis report, but that happened last Friday after we published. This demonstrates how important penis news is to millions of people, both with and without penises.

We cannot ignore the news that was so widely covered by other media, for several reasons:
  1. People expect WWPN to cover all major developments in our field.
  2. Just as the New York Times is "the newspaper of record" and publishes "all the news that's fit to print," WWPN has an obligation to be complete.
  3. During strikes by printers, reporters at the New York Times still produced newspapers that were never printed, but became part of the paper's permanent record. Centuries from now, people seeking penis news will find it right here.
Traditional media carried the story because they thought it was "funny" or "weird." WWPN is a serious news medium and would never stoop so low as to publish news merely because it is funny or weird. 

=  =  =  =  =
A South African surgical team completed the world's first successful long-term penile transplant, giving a 21-year-old man a working penis more than three years after he lost his own from complications stemming from a ritual circumcision that went awry.

The groundbreaking nine-hour procedure, performed on Dec. 11, 2014, restored all of the man’s urinary and reproductive functions, the doctors said Friday.

“Our goal was that he would be fully functional at two years and we are very surprised by his rapid recovery,” lead surgeon Andre van der Merwe, of Stellenbosch University, said Friday.

Doctors in China successfully performed a similar transplant years ago, but the 44-year-old recipient and his wife had such a severe psychological reaction to the new organ that doctors sliced off the transplant two weeks later later.



Friday, March 13, 2015

How do you heal a broken penis?

Various people have sung about healing broken hearts. It may be more important to deal with a broken dick.

Historically, treatment for a penis fractured during sexual activity was non-surgical management (e.g., cold compresses, pressure dressings, penile splinting and anti-inflammatory medications). Today, the treatment of choice will probably be for the individual to undergo surgery since it has the best long-term results by lowering complication rates often linked to non-surgical approaches. The most common surgical technique is to "deglove" the penis by making a cut around the shaft near the glans (glands) penis and peeling back the skin to the base to examine the inner surface. The surgeon will then evacuate any hematoma that helps to make examination of any tears in the tunica albuginea easier. If tears exist, they are repaired before the skin is sewn back into position.  A Foley catheter may be placed through the penile urethra into the bladder to drain urine and allow the penis to heal. With the entire penis bandaged, the patient will probably remain in the hospital for one or two days, and go home with or without the catheter. They may be given antibiotics and pain medication and will probably be asked to make a followup office visit with their doctor. 

For massive injuries to the penis, major reconstruction is frequently possible by urologists experienced with this difficult surgery.  How closely the reconstructed penis can return to normal urinary or sexual function varies greatly.

SOURCE

Thursday, March 12, 2015

Monkey testicle transplants to humans may be coming back

Rejuvenation treatment once attracted the rich and famous even the Pope but was later dismissed as trickery. Now it is being reconsidered in medical circles.

At the peak of his fame in the 1930s, Professor Voronoff, a Russian physician, was doing ten monkey gland operations a week in which three thin slices of monkey testicle were grafted (with silk stitches) on to the inside of the scrotum. He was, as a result, a very wealthy man. He occupied the whole of the first floor of one of Paris’s most expensive hotels, surrounded by a retinue of chauffeurs, valets, personal secretaries and two mistresses. 

In 1952, a distinguished British surgeon, Kenneth Walker, described the work as "no better than the methods of witches and magicians". And, in another memorable phrase, the monkey grafts were swiftly dismissed as "nothing more nor less than a piece of dead meat put in the wrong place".

In November 1991 an editorial in The Lancet suggested that the file on Voronoff’s work be reopened and in particular that "the Medical Research Council should fund further studies on monkey glands".

SOURCE

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Regardless of the size of their urine tank, most mammals take the same time to pee


Mammals range in size, and so do their bladders. A great dane can hold about 0.4 gallons of urine, while an elephant can store 42 gallons. Most mammals that weigh more than about two pounds take about 20 seconds to pee. The bigger the bladder (pee-pee tank), the bigger the urethra (pee-pee pipe).

An elephant pees nearly two gallons per second. Stay out of its way!

SOURCE

Monday, March 9, 2015

One testicle may be worth between $3,750 and $98,108


The value of a severed or smashed ball varies depending on where you live. The average is $27,678. The biggest payout per nut in the USA goes to federal employees.

SOURCE

Thursday, March 5, 2015

WHEW! Severed penis is not human.



Good news for men and the women who love them! A severed penis turned in at an Australian police station is not human.

(Thanks to Dr. Bree Belford from Down Unda for this vital contribution to penis news)


SOURCE

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Is your penis above-average, substandard or just OK?

What is an "average" size for a penis?
The enduring question now has a scientific answer: 13.12 centimetres (5.16 inches) in length when erect, and 11.66 cm around, according to an analysis of more than 15,000 appendages around the world.
In a flaccid state, it found, the penis of the average Joe is all of 9.16 cm in length and has a girth of 9.31 cm.
The numbers should help "reassure the large majority of men that the size of their penis is in the normal range," said British researchers who had assembled data from studies where participants had their member measured by a professional.

SOURCE