"If it weren't for the penis, human life would have ended with Adam and Eve. It seems strange that something so important is so funny-looking. I'm an author and journalist. Sometimes I write about funny things. Some of those funny things are penises." --Michael N. Marcus
Friday, December 4, 2015
Wrestler Joey Ryan is victorious despite penis grab-n-twist
The competition to find a finishing move better than Joey Ryan’s is gonna be stiff.
The wrestler won his match with Danshoku Dino in Osaka, Japan, by using penis power.
Dino grabbed Ryan’s crotch and the mustached mauler disapprovingly shook his head — “No, no, no,” he said — before flexing his penis and dropping Dino in pain.
Why didn’t he just let go?
It’s pro wrestling, that’s why. And if he let go, we wouldn’t have this video.
The move ends with Ryan somehow flipping Dino onto his back without ever putting a finger on him.
“I have to give credit where credit is due,”Ryan told Vice Sports of his move, which has gone viral. “Danshoku Dino, who I was wrestling in the match, he plays a very unorthodox character, very homoerotic to say the least. Part of his offense is to inappropriately touch and grab opponents for the thrill of it, or maybe to throw them off their game a bit. He speaks very little English, but wrestlers can usually speak wrestling, so we understand something. So we're going over the match and he says 'Maybe I grab, maybe you no sell, because American cock so big and so strong.' So it was kind of his idea. We both play sexual characters so it fit with us.”
Whatever he does next, it’ll be hard to top this move.