"If it weren't for the penis, human life would have ended with Adam and Eve.
It seems strange that something so important is so funny-looking.
I'm an author and journalist. Sometimes I write about funny things.
Some of those funny things are penises."
--Michael N. Marcus

Friday, July 24, 2015

What makes an attractive penis?



What makes an attractive penis? Is it a nice, even skin tone? Is it girth? Length? Can a penis be too fat? Too skinny? Can the head be too bulbous? (Yes.) Are all dongs beautiful or is beauty really just in the eye of the beholder? If it doesn't look like Ca$h Out's penis, is it then considered kind of ugly? Is there such a thing as a "butter dick"?

A group of Swiss researchers published a paper in The Journal of Sexual Medicine that addresses the question “What is a good-looking penis?” A group of 105 women, ages 16 to 45, rated the importance of specific penis characteristics (girth, length, pubic hair, et cetera). Based on those questionnaires, here are the most important factors in considering penile appearance, in order: General cosmetic appearance, pubic hair, penile skin, penile girth, shape of glans, length, scrotum appearance, “position and shape of meatus" (urethra).

The study was originally conducted in order to help men who had their penises surgically corrected after suffering distal hypospadias (a disorder rendering the urethra on the penis's underside). Many worried their penises would still be regarded as "abnormal" after the operation, but the paper suggests that worry is for naught. 

Still, researchers have unintentionally defined a new set of dick beauty standards: A dong can be short as long as it's pretty; pubic hair, which ranks No. 2 on the list, is important; and unlike a woman's body, a dick will never be criticized for being too chubby. (See: girth, No. 4.) 

SOURCE

 Photo: Jean-Daniel Sudres/Voyage-Gourmand/Photocuisine/Corbis

Monday, July 20, 2015

Medical students sliced off part of baby's penis; thought it was umbilical cord




A newborn baby boy had part of his penis cut off by bungling medical students who mistook it for the umbilical cord. The injury was hushed up by doctors as they attempted to keep it a secret from his parents.

However, the boy’s dad, Diego Rangel Izaguirre, started to grow suspicious after he was denied access to the child for more than two hours after he was born.

Staff at the hospital in Saltillo, Mexico, told the father that the boy had had a “minor accident” -- but he soon discovered the truth.

Fortunately the organ was successfully sewn back together -- but the baby suffered three more cuts during surgery.

His parents made an official complaint to the hospital but officials insist the baby is healthy and that the operation was both minor and consented to by the parents. The hospital has launched an internal investigation.

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Portland Oregon infested with artificial penises


 

In some inner cities it's common to see pairs of sneakers hanging from power lines.

Now, in Portland Oregon -- home of Nike sneakers! -- hundreds of phallic sex toys are hanging from power lines, provoking laughter, blushing and lots of photos. 

The large white and bright orange dildos appear to have been strung together in pairs, and have prompted numerous reports to the Portland Office of Neighborhood Involvement.

A spokesman for public utility Portland General Electric said he did not believe the rubber products posed a fire hazard.
SOURCE

Monday, July 13, 2015

Contemplating the penis of the future

Like our brains, the human penis hasn’t evolved in tens of thousands of years—and that’s a real shame. Our favorite male body part is capable of so much more. In consideration of pending advances in science and technology, here’s what to expect with penis 2.0:

Disease Resistance

Birth Control on Demand

No More Erectile Difficulties

Multiple Orgasms

Enhanced Sensitivity and Climaxes

Adjustable Shape and Surface Structure

Vibrator and Hands Free Modes

Internet Ready

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Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Penis peppers are hot in Spain


A new, spicier way to attract tourists has appeared in Barcelona: erotically-shaped fruit and vegetable seeds sold on the local flower stalls. Penis peppers, “vulva flowers,” and breast-shaped melons (with nipples) are available.
"People stop a lot to look at them and take photos with them," a stallholder told newspaper La Vanguardia.
"The erotic seeds are the best-selling," Jessica Balastegui, who also works on one of the flower stalls, added.
The seeds cost €3-€4 a bag.

SOURCE