"If it weren't for the penis, human life would have ended with Adam and Eve.
It seems strange that something so important is so funny-looking.
I'm an author and journalist. Sometimes I write about funny things.
Some of those funny things are penises."
--Michael N. Marcus

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

OOPS. Play-Doh toy looks like a penis.


Hasbro Inc. has been receiving lots of complaints this holiday season from parents horrified to find that the “extruder tool” in the Play-Doh Sweet Shoppe Cake Mountain Playset looks very much like a human penis.

Less-erotic replacement extruders are available.

CLICK for more

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Self-castrato/rapper is now doing penis jokes on stage

Rapper Andre “Christ Bearer” Johnson, who chopped off his penis and jumped out a window, is ready to laugh about his weenie deficiency. He's been on stage, joking about his shredded man meat.

The former Wu-Tang affiliated MC performed at the Ha Ha Cafe Comedy Club in North Hollywood after a few months of studying standup at various other clubs.

Read more: http://www.tmz.com/2014/10/19/christ-bearer-stand-up-comedy-penis-jokes-video-weiner/#ixzz3NNcIv0ED

Monday, December 29, 2014

Rabbits can get artificial penis transplants. What about us?


It's now possible to replace a defective, damaged or diseased penis with a penis grown in a laboratory -- in rabbits.

But the finding promises an amazing new treatment for infants, boys, and men who suffer penis disfigurement. The replacement organ would be grown on a penis-shaped matrix seeded with cells from the patient's own body.

CLICK FOR MORE

Friday, December 26, 2014

Psst. Hey guys, your penis could've been a vagina



Most people think that male and female genitals are about as different as can be: penis = male and vagina = female. But even this basic dichotomy is not really correct: the genitals emerge from the same mass of embryonic tissue. For the first six weeks of development the tissue masses develop identically.  At about six to seven weeks, depending on whether the fetus has XX or XY chromosomes (usually), the tissues start to differentiate. One part of the tissues begins to form the clitoris or penis and another forms the labia or scrotum. Another area begins to form into either the testes or the ovaries. This means that physiologically, male and female genitals are made of the same stuff and work in similar ways.

MORE


Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Penis lopped off as punishment for using it in the wrong places


Fei Lin, a rural migrant worker in the eastern Chinese village of Nigiao, was hospitalized after a 4am castration believed to have been prompted by his affairs with local women.

He told cops he had been asleep when the men burst into his bedroom. "They put something over my head and pulled down my trousers and then they ran off. I was so shocked I didn't feel a thing. Then I saw I was bleeding and my penis was gone,"

Although emergency workers searched for the severed organ, they failed to locate it and believe it was taken away by the attackers. Lin denied that he had been boinking the wrong babes.

SOURCE

Monday, December 22, 2014

17-hour hard-on was exciting but not fun

Drugs such as Viagra and Cialis warn users to seek medical care if an erection lasts more than four hours. But what about seventeen hours?

In England, 23-year-old Jason Garnett went to a hospital where his penis had to be drained of two pints of blood after suffering from an erection lasting 17 hours. His condition, known as priapism, is regarded as a medical emergency.

Jason first woke up with a woody and initially didn’t worry about it.

However, by lunchtime he was beginning to get concerned and tried to address the situation by taking an ice bath and then going for a jog.

Unsuccessful, he went to the hospital where doctors drew off blood to reduce the pressure. They also injected medication 24 times to restrict  blood flow. 

The treatment was painful but Jason says his dick “is completely normal now, apart from the fact that it looks like it’s been through a war. It’s all a bit black and blue.” 

Source

Photo from TimesUnion.com. Thanks

Friday, December 19, 2014

Are you willing to go blind and deaf for sex?
Is a runny nose OK?

VIAGRA (SILDENAFIL CITRATE) CAN CAUSE SERIOUS SIDE EFFECTS. Rarely reported side effects include:
  • an erection that will not go away (priapism). If you have an erection that lasts more than 4 hours, get medical help right away. If it is not treated right away, priapism can permanently damage your penis.
  • sudden vision loss in one or both eyes. Sudden vision loss in one or both eyes can be a sign of a serious eye problem called non-arteritic anterior ischemic optic neuropathy (NAION). Stop taking VIAGRA and call your healthcare provider right away if you have sudden vision loss in one or both eyes.
  • sudden hearing decrease or hearing loss. Some people may also have ringing in their ears (tinnitus) or dizziness. If you have these symptoms, stop taking VIAGRA and contact a doctor right away.
THE MOST COMMON SIDE EFFECTS OF VIAGRA ARE:
  • headache
  • flushing
  • upset stomach
  • abnormal vision, such as changes in color vision (such as having a blue color tinge) and blurred vision
  • stuffy or runny nose
  • back pain
  • muscle pain
  • nausea
  • dizziness
  • rash

Thursday, December 18, 2014

No penis news today, just a funny penis story

In seventh and eighth grade, as our female class­mates were start­ing to “develop” and male hor­mones were also raging, schoolboys often had wet dreams in bed at night and inflated pants in school during the day.

One time I was called to the blackboard in Spanish class while aroused. I walked bent over at the waist to avoid revealing my erection and then practically buried my dick in the wall at the front of the room. 

- - - - -

From my mostly hilarious bestseller, Stories I'd Tell My Children, but maybe not until they're adults. Available in hardcover, paperback and multiple ebook formats. 



Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Not only can your penis shrink, so can your nuts


Testicles are not called a man’s jewels for no reason. They’re the source of our manliness. They produce testosterone which gives us muscle definition, facial hair and the ability to perform sexually.

That should explain why we prize them so much, and why it hits so close to home when people like Tom Green and Lance Armstrong are diagnosed with testicular cancer. Both of them got a testicle removed.


There’s another condition that’s particularly scary for men: testicular atrophy, colloquially known as shrinking balls. Finding out your balls are shrinking is especially scary. If you ever find yourself going from walnuts to grapes down there, it could be because of one of these five reasons.

CLICK and learn 

Monday, December 15, 2014

Man blamed penis pills for fractured weenie




A 29-year-old man sued the manufacturer of a sexual enhancement supplement, claiming it caused his penis to fracture in a horrifying incident at Houston motel. 

Adrian Carter said he purchased VirilisPro en route to have sex with his “paramour,” according to the lawsuit. Later, during intercourse, he had “significant pain and observed a large quantity of blood squirting out of his penis onto the sheets, walls and mirror,” according to the lawsuit.

Although Carter blames the supplement, three urologists told ABCNews.com com that penile fractures are most often the result of rough sex.

Emergency room doctors had to “deglove” Carter’s penis in order to repair it, rendering him unable to have sex or future children, Carter claimed. 


See more at: http://www.eacvision.com/mariage/man-fractures-penis-after-taking-sex-pill-lawsuit-claims/#sthash.xGo4dKoA.dpuf
Later, during intercourse, he had “significant pain and observed a large quantity of blood squirting out of his penis onto the sheets, walls and mirror,” according to the lawsuit filed Aug. 27 in the district court of Harris County, Texas. - See more at: http://www.eacvision.com/mariage/man-fractures-penis-after-taking-sex-pill-lawsuit-claims/#sthash.xGo4dKoA.dpuf
Later, during intercourse, he had “significant pain and observed a large quantity of blood squirting out of his penis onto the sheets, walls and mirror,” according to the lawsuit filed Aug. 27 in the district court of Harris County, Texas. - See more at: http://www.eacvision.com/mariage/man-fractures-penis-after-taking-sex-pill-lawsuit-claims/#sthash.xGo4dKoA.dpuf
Later, during intercourse, he had “significant pain and observed a large quantity of blood squirting out of his penis onto the sheets, walls and mirror,” according to the lawsuit filed Aug. 27 in the district court of Harris County, Texas.
Emergency room doctors had to “deglove” Carter’s penis in order to repair it, rendering him unable to have sex or future children, Carter claimed.
The lawsuit said VirilisPro was “defective and unreasonably dangerous for use by consumers.”
“It was pretty horrific to view the pictures,” Carter’s lawyer, Melissa Moore, told ABCNews.com. “I know it sounds unusual. … He was young and healthy and on no other meds at the time he took the supplement.”
Named in the lawsuit were the drug manufacturer, Haute Health Limited Liability Company, Carney & Carney Financial Services, individuals Michael Heilig and Michael and Tyra Carney, and Solid Rock Worship Company, all located in New Jersey.
- See more at: http://www.eacvision.com/mariage/man-fractures-penis-after-taking-sex-pill-lawsuit-claims/#sthash.xGo4dKoA.dpuf
Later, during intercourse, he had “significant pain and observed a large quantity of blood squirting out of his penis onto the sheets, walls and mirror,” according to the lawsuit filed Aug. 27 in the district court of Harris County, Texas. - See more at: http://www.eacvision.com/mariage/man-fractures-penis-after-taking-sex-pill-lawsuit-claims/#sthash.xGo4dKoA.dpuf
Later, during intercourse, he had “significant pain and observed a large quantity of blood squirting out of his penis onto the sheets, walls and mirror,” according to the lawsuit filed Aug. 27 in the district court of Harris County, Texas.
Emergency room doctors had to “deglove” Carter’s penis in order to repair it, rendering him unable to have sex or future children, Carter claimed.
The lawsuit said VirilisPro was “defective and unreasonably dangerous for use by consumers.”
“It was pretty horrific to view the pictures,” Carter’s lawyer, Melissa Moore, told ABCNews.com. “I know it sounds unusual. … He was young and healthy and on no other meds at the time he took the supplement.”
Named in the lawsuit were the drug manufacturer, Haute Health Limited Liability Company, Carney & Carney Financial Services, individuals Michael Heilig and Michael and Tyra Carney, and Solid Rock Worship Company, all located in New Jersey.
- See more at: http://www.eacvision.com/mariage/man-fractures-penis-after-taking-sex-pill-lawsuit-claims/#sthash.xGo4dKoA.dpuf
Adrian Carter of Texas said he purchased VirilisPro in the “early morning hours” at a Chevron gas station en route to the Scottish Inn, where he had sex with his “paramour,” according to the lawsuit. - See more at: http://www.eacvision.com/mariage/man-fractures-penis-after-taking-sex-pill-lawsuit-claims/#sthash.xGo4dKoA.dpuf
Adrian Carter of Texas said he purchased VirilisPro in the “early morning hours” at a Chevron gas station en route to the Scottish Inn, where he had sex with his “paramour,” according to the lawsuit.
Later, during intercourse, he had “significant pain and observed a large quantity of blood squirting out of his penis onto the sheets, walls and mirror,” according to the lawsuit filed Aug. 27 in the district court of Harris County, Texas.
Emergency room doctors had to “deglove” Carter’s penis in order to repair it, rendering him unable to have sex or future children, Carter claimed.
The lawsuit said VirilisPro was “defective and unreasonably dangerous for use by consumers.”
“It was pretty horrific to view the pictures,” Carter’s lawyer, Melissa Moore, told ABCNews.com. “I know it sounds unusual. … He was young and healthy and on no other meds at the time he took the supplement.”
Named in the lawsuit were the drug manufacturer, Haute Health Limited Liability Company, Carney & Carney Financial Services, individuals Michael Heilig and Michael and Tyra Carney, and Solid Rock Worship Company, all located in New Jersey.
- See more at: http://www.eacvision.com/mariage/man-fractures-penis-after-taking-sex-pill-lawsuit-claims/#sthash.xGo4dKoA.dpuf
But though Adrian Carter of Texas blames the supplement, three urologists told ABCNews.com com that penile fractures are most often the result of rough sex.
Adrian Carter of Texas said he purchased VirilisPro in the “early morning hours” at a Chevron gas station en route to the Scottish Inn, where he had sex with his “paramour,” according to the lawsuit.
Later, during intercourse, he had “significant pain and observed a large quantity of blood squirting out of his penis onto the sheets, walls and mirror,” according to the lawsuit filed Aug. 27 in the district court of Harris County, Texas.
Emergency room doctors had to “deglove” Carter’s penis in order to repair it, rendering him unable to have sex or future children, Carter claimed.
The lawsuit said VirilisPro was “defective and unreasonably dangerous for use by consumers.”
“It was pretty horrific to view the pictures,” Carter’s lawyer, Melissa Moore, told ABCNews.com. “I know it sounds unusual. … He was young and healthy and on no other meds at the time he took the supplement.”
Named in the lawsuit were the drug manufacturer, Haute Health Limited Liability Company, Carney & Carney Financial Services, individuals Michael Heilig and Michael and Tyra Carney, and Solid Rock Worship Company, all located in New Jersey.
- See more at: http://www.eacvision.com/mariage/man-fractures-penis-after-taking-sex-pill-lawsuit-claims/#sthash.xGo4dKoA.dpuf
But though Adrian Carter of Texas blames the supplement, three urologists told ABCNews.com com that penile fractures are most often the result of rough sex.
Adrian Carter of Texas said he purchased VirilisPro in the “early morning hours” at a Chevron gas station en route to the Scottish Inn, where he had sex with his “paramour,” according to the lawsuit.
Later, during intercourse, he had “significant pain and observed a large quantity of blood squirting out of his penis onto the sheets, walls and mirror,” according to the lawsuit filed Aug. 27 in the district court of Harris County, Texas.
Emergency room doctors had to “deglove” Carter’s penis in order to repair it, rendering him unable to have sex or future children, Carter claimed.
The lawsuit said VirilisPro was “defective and unreasonably dangerous for use by consumers.”
“It was pretty horrific to view the pictures,” Carter’s lawyer, Melissa Moore, told ABCNews.com. “I know it sounds unusual. … He was young and healthy and on no other meds at the time he took the supplement.”
Named in the lawsuit were the drug manufacturer, Haute Health Limited Liability Company, Carney & Carney Financial Services, individuals Michael Heilig and Michael and Tyra Carney, and Solid Rock Worship Company, all located in New Jersey.
- See more at: http://www.eacvision.com/mariage/man-fractures-penis-after-taking-sex-pill-lawsuit-claims/#sthash.xGo4dKoA.dpuf

Friday, December 12, 2014

13-year-old boy tried as adult because of big penis


According to The Moscow Times, a 13-year-old boy detained on suspicion of theft will be tried as an adult on the basis of his mature teeth and large penis.

Tomas, born in Ukraine, was arrested for stealing a cellphone -- a charge Tomas denies.

Following a medical examination of his teeth and genitals, prison doctors concluded that the boy was between 16 to 17 years old, allowing the court to judge him as an adult and put him behind bars.

However, Tomas' relatives say he was only 12 years old at the time of his arrest, a claim supported by his Ukrainian documentation, which was checked when he crossed the Russian border.

According to Article 20 of the Criminal Code, the age of criminal responsibility in Russia is 16.

CLICK for source

Thursday, December 11, 2014

Is your weenie really waning -- or are you nuts?

Koro Syndrome, mostly found in China, Japan and India, is the obsessive fear that the penis or nipples are shrinking, or retracting into the body, and that when they finally do disappear, you will die.

The main dangers of koro are health problems caused by anxiety, and the occasional practice of either asking other people to take hold of the penis and pull it back out, or trying to pull it back out of the body by oneself.

One sufferer was 41 before he sought treatment, and had spent 15 years sleeping with a string connecting a hook above his bed his penis to keep it from shrinking.

Koro is almost exclusively found in east-Asian countries. Scientists don't know whether this is due to some intrinsic cultural tendency towards a specific type of worry, or whether the syndrome started as a rumor or legend that's being taken literally as more people talk about it. Since koro has become more widely known in western countries there have been sporadic cases in the west. These cases tend to be associated with other psychological illnesses, though, while koro in Asia is often seen in otherwise perfectly healthy people.

In 1967 there was a mass panic in Singapore with nearly 500 people seeking koro treatment in one month.


CLICK for source

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Be careful. Your semen may break the speed limit

If you ejaculate while orbiting the earth at 17,000 miles per hour, your goo will travel a little bit faster.

Back on earth, the typical speed is 20 to 30 M.P.H. -- but it won't travel far. A high-speed liftoff can launch some spermies more than three feet in the air.


SOURCE

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Be careful! A penis fell off after being injected with cocaine


>>The man had injected cocaine before intercourse in an effort to enhance sexual performance. He was admitted to the hospital because his penis had remained erect for three days, resulting in a painful inability to urinate.

On his third day in the hospital, the man's erection suddenly subsided. Over the next 12 hours, blood leaked into the tissues of his feet, hands, genitals, back and chest. Blood coagulation caused tissues to die over large areas of the patient's body, and he was transferred to the burn unit of New York Hospital-Cornell Medical Center.

Doctors there were forced to amputate the man's legs above the knee and all but one of his fingers to stop the spread of gangrene. The patient's penis fell off by itself.<<

CLICK for more

Monday, December 8, 2014

Jonah's dead dick will go to museum after he dies

In the HBO film, Private Dicks: Men Exposed, New Yorker Jonah Falcon is recognized for having the longest penis ever measured, a distinction that has made him an Internet star. He has declined many opportunities in porn but now, he has an offer he can't refuse.
The Icelandic Phallological Museum -- better known as "The Penis Museum" -- has offered Jonah everlasting fame, by putting his 13.5-inch sex organ on display after his death.

"I am flattered by the invitation," Falcon says in a letter to the museum: "I appreciate your museum's devotion to science, and it would be an honor to have my manhood put on display, hopefully nestled between the sexual appendages of a sperm whale and a polar bear ... I hope I don't make either of those creatures jealous. May I suggest you call the exhibit, 'Jonah and the Whale'."

CLICK for more at HuffPost

Friday, December 5, 2014

After reading this, you'll never complain about your penis getting caught in your zipper

Unambal aborigines in Australia
>>The young man is seated on rock while his penis is split open with a stone knife along its full length on the underside. The penis once split open is pressed flat against the rock on which the young man is sitting. The Aborigines explained that this is done in order to make it "lighter and more beautiful."<<

CLICK if you dare to read more

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Some boys are born with two penises. Some keep both.



A man who claims to suffer from an extremely rare medical condition in which he was born with two penises has posted a picture online, attracting thousands of questions.


The anonymous man -- who goes by the moniker 'DoubleDickDude' -- spent more than six hours answering questions online after uploading the pictures to Reddit.

He claimed to suffer from a condition known as diphallia -- where a boy is born with two fully-functioning penises, each capable of operating independently from the other - and included two pictures with the time and date.

The condition affects around one in every six million boys in the U.S. but most have one removed at an early age.

When he was asked how people react to his condition, he replied: ‘It varies from girl to girl.

‘Some have been like “wow”. Some have been like “that's fake!” Some have freaked out like, called me names.

‘Most are pretty curious but I don't have casual sex anymore, I stopped a few years back.’

The unnamed man, who is in a bisexual polyamorous relationship with a man and woman, explained that he could urinate or ejaculate simultaneously. 

He met his now boyfriend and girlfriend when they were in a monogamous relationship and the three have been together, exclusively, ever since.

Having an extra penis has led to a range of sexual encounters with men and women, and he claimed that heterosexuals had been curious enough to take part in encounters. 

'Mostly straight guys, and they always at the very least touch and play with them a little,' he posted. 

He added that having an extra penis had opened him up to group sex encounters, and said he can use both at the same time, in two different lovers or the same person.

When asked about his most memorable sexual encounter he detailed an act involving six other people -- three women and three men.

One of the only downsides of his condition, he said, was that it means his prostate gets full of seminal fluid that has to be released every few days.
When he was younger a urologist would perform the procedure, which involves reaching inside his anus and pressing on the prostate, but he said he can clear it himself now or has his boyfriend do it.


Photo from Shutterstock

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

NJ cop arrested for exposing penis during traffic stops

In the good old days, Jersey cops would be content to ask for bribes

A 37-year-old New Jersey policeman has been arrested and charged with official misconduct for allegedly unzipping his fly during several traffic stops, authorities said.

Jason Miller, who's been on the Newton Police Department force since 2001, is free on $35,000 bail after being charged with lewdness and two counts of official misconduct, according to chief Michael Richards and the Sussex County prosecutor's office.

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Man cut off his own penis, threw it in the trash after getting dumped for bad bedroom skills



A Macedonian man hacked off his own manhood after being dumped for having bad bedroom skills.

Jilted lover Oliver Ilic reportedly tossed his member in the trash after slicing it off with a single swipe from a razor blade.

The 22-year-old lay bleeding on the floor of his Kocani home for several minutes before calling emergency services.

Cops arrived and found his severed organ in the waste paper bin. A bloodstained Ilic reportedly told officers that his small penis was to blame for his ruined relationship.

And so, feeling it was useless, he decided to cut it off.

CLICK for more

Monday, December 1, 2014

Brazilian pastor convinced congregants sperm was Holy Milk

Apparently holy milk doesn't come from holy cows.
Valdeci Sobrino Picanto is a Brazilian Evangelical Pastor. He was arrested after he claimed that the Holy Spirit would secrete from his penis in the form of “sacred milk.” He said that his penis was blessed and that the Lord had consecrated him with divine milk of the Holy Spirit” and he had to release it in order to evangelize.

According to a victim: “He has convinced us that God could come into our lives
only through our mouths and that’s why he would do what he did. Often, after worship, Pastor Valdeci would take us to the where the funds were kept at the back of the Church and asked us to have oral sex with him until the Holy Spirit would come through ejaculation.”

Picanto said that he intends to provide his cellmates with his sacred milk.

CLICK for news source


Photo from https://gaganjain.wordpress.com. Thanks.