In your future I see a beautiful lady, but no penis

British gypsies cut off man's penis in revenge for his sleeping with one of their girlfriends. Police searched for missing manhood after arrest of suspect.

Maybe a squirrel ate it. After all, they do eat nuts.

Dick Hunting

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2580115/Did-gypsies-cut-Middlesbrough-mans-penis-revenge-Police-search-A66-missing-manhood.html#ixzz3Jb5KruE0 

A four-headed weenie - WOW!

The echidna is an odd animal for many reasons. It looks like a cross between a hedgehog, a platypus and an anteater (and indeed it is commonly known as the “spiny anteater”). Additionally, the females of this mamalian species lay eggs, which is really rare – in fact, the only other mammal known to do this is the platypus (egg-laying mammals are called monotremes), so already we can see that these are special ickly cuties. But what is perhaps most bizarre about this little Australian waddler is its four-headed penis.

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John Wayne Bobbit says his reconnected penis works better than before

“The doctors told me I would never be able to have sex again because my injuries were so bad. But I’ve proved them wrong time and time again. I believe I’ve slept with 70 women since the incident. Being the most famous man to have his penis chopped off does have its advantages. It definitely has not hurt my love life — in fact it improved it. I guess some women got a kick out of saying they slept with John Wayne Bobbitt.

[Howard Stern] offered to pay for a penis enlargement and I jumped at the chance. I still had not fully regained my confidence in that department and I thought it would help get back my self-esteem. The three-hour operation added just under two inches to the length. The plastic surgeon also made it thicker. I was lucky — everything went back to good working order. I joke it’s all ‘souped up’ now — like an ordinary car with a bigger engine. I can honestly say it’s never been better. 

Obviously, I would have preferred not to go through all that pain and suffering. But being famous for my penis has given me opportunities I could not have ever imagined.”

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Be careful. Dicks are breakable.

According to urologist Dr. Erik P. Castle of the Mayo Clinic, "a penis fracture can occur when there is trauma to the erect penis. The trauma is usually related to aggressive or acrobatic sexual intercourse or, in some cases, aggressive masturbation.

A penis fracture is a painful injury that's often accompanied by an audible cracking sound, followed immediately by dark bruising of the penis due to blood escaping the cylinder. In some cases the tube that drains urine from the body (urethra) may be damaged as well, and blood may be visible at the urinary opening of the penis.

A penis fracture requires urgent medical attention. A penis fracture can usually be diagnosed with a physical exam, and prompt surgical repair is typically recommended. Left untreated, a penis fracture may result in deformity of the penis or the inability to have or maintain an erection."

British man jailed for slapping sleeping woman in face with penis

Mobile phone footage of a university student drunkenly slapping a sleeping woman's face with his flaccid penis could have shattered his dreams of a career in law.

Criminology student John Luke Dale, 21, took advantage of the woman after she fell asleep at digs in Nottingham last year.

As a friend filmed the act with a mobile phone, the Nottingham Trent University student stripped to his boxers and attacked her.

But the sick behavior did not come to light until later when the pal showed the video to workmates and the police were called.

Read more: http://www.mkweb.co.uk/SEX-ASSAULT-Nottingham-Trent-student-John-Luke/story-23308729-detail/story.html#ixzz3JnByB6Tz

Woman attacked by home invader's penis

A Miami man made a big mistake when he responded to knocking on the rear door of his home at 3:10 in the morning. 

When he opened the door, police said, the man was confronted by two males pointing firearms at him, and demanding money. They didn't get any. The two men then moved on to his daughter-in-law's bedroom, and woke her up.

While pointing a gun at the 33-year-old woman, the men again demanded money. When one of the men didn't get what he wanted, police said, he resorted to another method of assault: Puling out his penis, and "hitting the victim in her face," with it, the police report states. 

The suspects didn't get any loot, but made off with two television sets valued at $600.

from Miami Herald

Read more here: http://miamiherald.typepad.com/deadline-miami/2014/01/woman-attacked-by-home-invaders-private-parts.html#storylink=cpy

That's supposed to be a tail, ya silly Pooh

Sexed-up Miley Cyrus avoids pregnancy and AIDS by providing oral favor to inflatable penis

 

When twerking is not enough.

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